Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Would you rather?

Be enslaved for hard labour for your lifetime


Locked up for the rest of your life


be told repeatedly that you are something (or someone) you are not until you no longer trust yourself ?

Thursday, November 21, 2013


What if north american societies depiction of crazy is really the key to regeneration; would you want to be crazy or sane?

First time

The first of everything is always a novelty.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013


If BBC added randomizing feature sizes (like you know how they have a-z, then aa,ab,ac,ad,ae... Ba, bb,bc,bd,-bz,ca-cz,da-dz.........za,zz,aaz-azz-zzz,azzz-azzzz...They can continue on indefinitely without repeating a combination. I don't know who they is or what they are combining but applied to generic faces----)
Would that make it better?
Would you notice each difference?
Would you notice SOME difference?
What percentage?

Are you a better person because you can tell bcyldjrbv apart from shush dh?
(Look^^ we've evolved to include spaces!)
What does it mean when you can't see HF without seeing he. Even though they have the same amount of connections as any other combination...
Their appearances may be too close to discern.

Sunday, November 3, 2013


How long will you keep food in the fridge PAST edibility?
Yknow when food gets to that point where you are like ehh... I *might* consider eating that- how long would you keep something in the fridge after that?

I've heard comments of fuzzy dishes in the fridge, and I have seen moldy products in fridges before.
It's like one of the grossest things to me.

Do you think this is a problem with society, due to availability to food? And demands placed that make it difficult to consume food to functionly benefit.

Or is it a problem with an individual being wasteful, or ignorant to food shortages?

Is this not a problem to anyone else ? Does it happen to anyone else?
How often does it happen to you, or that you see?

My friends told me she spent 35$ on groceries for about 10 days worth of food.
I would be licking my fridge and floors for nutrients with what I would manage to buy with that money.
And yet I wonder if she ever has bad food to throw away?

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Squirrels and bees.

Is it speciest or whatever to paint all squirrels at my house as enemies because my garden was nibbled on multiple times by "them"?
I used to feed them peanuts, even with a cat and dog, the animals were taught to not bark or chase them.. But then came my garden problems, and I encouraged my dog to scare them (and the raccoons ) off... Now a squirrel came for the forgotten peanut butter jar, something I have always allowed and I coaxed my dog into running the squirrel.. Perhaps not a garden thieving squirrel, but a general squirrel- off my deck and property.

And what is with these fucking bees? I let them live, time Nd time again Nd now they act like they are at home in my home, not just spared in the belief of non-return.
When they are swatted away they buzz intensely while clinging , raging against the door or wall or whatever, until the seeming anger dissipates and they slick their antennas back... I can almost hear them saying its Ok it's cool. I've got it under control. I'm impressed by bees rage control. 
OMG. It's in my hair. 

Friday, October 11, 2013


How do you look past ugliness?
That part of you that wants to run and hide from something, or someone ... Even though you stand Nd smile be ause its your superior, or, peer pressure. You out of hundreds, or hundreds upon thousands find something they all find so serene so beautiful you can't help hit notice just one.. Overwhelmingly ugly quality you don't understand how others can't   see!

How do you ignore that part - or better, how do you accept it instead?

Friday, October 4, 2013

Helping hands.

Do you like to help people?
... Do you know how to tell if people want to be helped? If they want your help?
Will you still help people if they don't want to be helped... Because they are clearly struggling; maybe you think they are just too proud to ask for help but really actually need it...
Or maybe you think that if you don't help they will fail, so you attempt to save them (like for example someone is trying to balance boxes and they look like they will tip in the next 2 seconds even if the person stood perfectly still - you are in such a position that a simple outreach would prevent the fall; do you only help people struggling if they ask for help?

Can you tell when a person is struggling with a project; and also struggling to ask for, or perhaps accept help...Or if they are struggling to keep focused and wanting only to not be distracted- focusing inwards on a personal goal.
Can you tell what separates these moments?
Perhaps you help them thinking, like with the boxes that the balance could not be kept - but had you NOT interfered, the balance still wouldn't have tipped.
Do you believe it is always good to help people?

Please leave your responses. I will reply to every one.
*begs mercifully*

I'm very motivated by validation or discussion. 
This is sad isn't it..
I'm sad:( I'm sad nobody ever leaves comments.
I've considered responding anonymously.
.... Or I wonder if ill ever respond without acknowledging.. Like sleep-commenting, or because I've been possessed.. Another part of me took control...��

Heaven : pearly cage

Do you believe someone is gone in death, or altered?

I say altered. They become everything around you. To me, reassurance after death is something along the lines of .. I can feel the deceased all around me, still alive through the trees and the wind.
To hear other say they are waiting somewhere for me upsets me because I don't want to feel obliged to be in one place to see loved ones.
It worries me that god loving people are really signing their souls away to a cage.. Like they actually may be gone... But the rest of the universe lives and thrives recycling its energy while you remain trapped... Or perhaps it wouldn't matter because you are happy there and your happiness is your most important thing. Only you can control it, and you. 
So happiness to those signing themselves to live in a.. "Equal billing" life stages.
Your captor, god, will protect you from the outer life forms outside his cage... Regardless of who they Are.. And own you in the process, forced to live for eternity choosing to live in gods pearly cage. 

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Dream journal

I just stumbled across my old dream journals from 2004 and around there.

I don't remember writing most of them! One or two I vividly remember. I apparently also had a conversation with my neice in writing ; part of me thinks yah!.. That happened! Another part is like.. What the fuck?!

I wonder if maybe I wrote both sides pretending to be her..
What if she didn't remember it?
Would that indicate my lacking sanity?
Or simply that we both don't remember?

I wonder how much of my memory is accurate.. If I maybe misgauged or didn't quite process  the details at the time of recording.... My memory may be skewed as well.
Even if without the recording of my memory, the recollection would bring to light the misunderstandings.
Or maybe you wouldn't recall at all.

Can you maneuver that fine line.. Knowing when to both hold on to your memories, and knowing when to let them go?
Can you walk that tight rope?

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Life is a roller coaster

I don't think I could possibly say fuck enough times and with enough different meanings to adequately convey how I'm feeling. Fuck.
If life is a roller coaster.. Have I mentioned I'm scared of heights?

Saturday, September 7, 2013

What if vaccines...

Were really triggers to work together with virus, not be immune.
What if the people behind it are the reptilian species hiding in our meat suits pushing all people to join their races??
To allow their species (via virus) to take over body or mind control?

... Would it be so bad if we could work together in one body?

Friday, September 6, 2013

Super shiver

I was listening to my husbands playlist and as the song pulls me in with its touching chorus "I want to be left alone" as my rythym intensifys and the song begins to sway me as I cut long stems of green onion... Just as I've declared my desire to be all alone - I cut into a stalk containing a writhing and halved earwig.

Horrified I stepped away, letting it be alone - but had to end its misery and chopped it again and its pieces went flying and I shuddered and brushed myself off, smacked myself off trying to remove any potential debris.
The body discovered I still can't stop squirming myself, imagining the bug in my onion.

I'm not sure if I want to use the onion...
I'm leaning towards yes.


... This seems an appropriate time to also share that some species of earwigs actually have wings. This thought also horrifies me.

I think I shall not sleep tonight...